Question:
I don't know what is happening. I haven't been 'myself
lately' and have been seeing my dr. (who I have great trust in) and it turns
out that I have a panic disorder. I have been experiencing worse panic
attacks for the last few weeks now and they are freaking me out. I am trying
to talk myself out of having one right now. I just subscribed to
alt.support.anxiety.panic but I couldn't post bec. I felt my head start to
inflate and the choking sensation etc bec. they are all 'new people' to me
and I find it hard enough to talk about myself. let alone to people I don't
know, about something I don't have a hold on at the moment.
Along with the panic attacks, I have been experiencing de-realisation, and
de-personalisation and just want to get away or pass out. I have been
talking myself through these at the moment and facing it instead of running,
but I am scared that I won't be able to at some time.
I find that this seems to happen when the kids aren't around. Whether I seem
to be able to control it more with them around me or they just keep me busy
:-), Ijust don't know. I know that I don't want to experience this around
them, for fear of me not being able to control the attack.
I have also developed a rash on my face,forehead,behind ears and on my head
which is from stress. There is also a different rash on my legs in small
areas associated with stress as well. The one on my face is just slowly
spreading around and the ones on my legs come up in patches. I have had 3
appear today when I actually was in a 'stress situation'. The silly thing
is 1 was during a driving lesson and the others were taking my sister to the
drs. Liek these are minor thngs in my mind that I actually don't feel
stressed over. I can't seem to make sense of any of it.
Answer:
I've had panic disorder too, at some points in my
life and it was awful (I didn't develop true agorophobia, btw, whatever
your doctor seems to think).
At least you know what's happening - I remember being scared I had a
heart condition or a weird form of epilepsy.
I find most of the psychie support groups on the Net a bit heavy - too
many people with problems and not enough with support, so feel free to
post about it on this newsgroup. Most Aspies have experienced something
like it at one time or another.
My Mom was treated for a anxiety attach just recently, it happened to
her where she works. When I talked to her on the phone I thought she
was depressed and come to find out she wasn't and just had anxiety.
The drs gave her some Avitan (sleeping pills) she took them for a
couple of days and felt better I guess, then she went to find out what
her blood tests said and all that and the Dr. gave her beta blockers as
he said her blood pressure was high and that they would have the dual
purpose of calming her down too. I guess he didn't think the Avitan was
a good idea because they are addicting and my Mom told them about her
alcohol addiction that she had thirty years ago.
Does the rash you have itch at all?
I had a rash that itched before on my scalp face and legs and ears,
the only thing that seemed to make it go away was sitting in the sun.
I don't know if it was from stress or not, but just have a rash
stressed me out :-)
What is this agoraphobia? Is that where you don't want to leave the
house?
I have suffered from panic disorder since I was a child, and
have periodic bouts. (Thankfully it's been a while since I've had one, for
what reason I cannot guess.) I know how debilitating it is. I was
semi-agoraphobic, and there were only a few places I could drive or go for a
while. It was very frightening. I had a massive attack at the grocery
store once when I was alone, and couldn't shop for months afterwards. I
think the most difficult part was not being able to explain so someone who
didn't have it what it was like, or why you felt the way you did. Mine
would come out of the blue sometimes, so I knew it wasn't always a reaction
to stress. I'd be happily watching TV, then wham. As you said, you felt
like you were being strangled and couldn't catch your breath, and this
paralyzing fear and irrationality would kick in. I, too, began to feel like
something else was wrong, and was convinced I had a brain tumor.
I was bounced on and off many medications with varying degrees of success
before I convinced them to let me take a small dose of Xanax on an as-need
basis. I'm now med-free. It gave me a little bit of control.
