Question:
I don't know if it was being with my family, or what, but we went out to Red
Lobster (we went to celebrate that we bought a new car, that me and my
siblings didn't even want, we mainly got it because my step father is having
a mid-life crisis) and I acted like a did a year ago, not being able to
order for myself feeling like I am going to throw up when I just have to
talk to the waitress. I hate that, but I had a huge panic attack when she
was taking every else's orders because I knew that my turn was coming up,
and I had to leave the table. My step brother, the one that used to be
evil, understood thankfully, and he ordered for me while I went to the
bathroom. The really bad part is that we were completely on the other side
of the restaurant, and I am really bad at finding my way around places, so I
made my way through the crowd of tables and loopyty-loops, but once I got
into the bathroom I realized that I didn't know how to get back to my table,
and I bagan to planic again. I went through the crowd, freaking out, trying
not to be noticed, I didn't want anyone asking if I need help. I know I
passed by the same table at least two times, but i made it back without
help, shaky, but that was okay --I didn't get up until I it was time to go.
Answer:
That sounds like a terrible experience. I can definitely relate to the losing
your way from bathroom part. Unless I know a restaurant very well, I won't go
to the restroom because I am afraid of not being able to find it, or losing my
way back. Sounds silly, but it's how I am.
Anyway, I hope you are feeling better today. Setbacks happen. You just have
to not give up hope that eventually you will be able to conquer your phobia of
restaurants. I know I'm a lot better with my night time driving now, and it
used to scare me so badly -- but my counseling appointment is always after
dark, and I have to do it, and I am just a lot better at it now. I don't even
worry about it, I just do it, and now and then I get scared, but it's not as
bad as it was. I hope you find the same thing true for you.
Panic attacks stink, but you got through it. I didn't read that you bolted
from the restaurant, demanded to be taken home or anything like that so even
though it felt nasty, uncomfortable and all those other things that PDers
associate with PA's it was a success. When we are able to stick it out in an
uncomfortable situation it makes the same situation easier in the future.
